Submissions are currently open (as of 9/12/22) ¶

Submission Guidelines ¶

• Please email pitches to functionallydead@gmail.com. Please do not submit a full piece! A brief summary and a title is perfect. For art submissions, you can include the finished piece.

• There’s no hard limit on the number of pitches/pieces you can send us at a time, but try to keep it reasonable. 5 feels about right.

• Please include “Submission” in the subject line.

• We are primarily interested in publishing short, left-leaning political satire, non-political comedy that speaks to the current moment, and earnest non-comedic essays from a Leftist perspective. Short fiction / poetry isn’t really our thing, but if you really think it’d fit our voice, send it over!

• We typically don’t publish pieces over 1,200 words unless it’s REALLY interesting. Is your piece really that interesting? If you’re wondering, it’s probably not.

• We look at pitches from contributors the week after an issue is released.

• We’ll get back to you by that Thursday with what pitch we liked the most. After that, we’d like a first draft by EOD that Sunday. This tighter turnaround helps keep each issue fresh and current.

• Please paste the piece directly in the body of the email. If you’re submitting art, an attachment is fine. Otherwise, no attachments!

• We accept simultaneous submissions - just let us know in the body of your email.

• Thanks to our Patreon, we can pay our contributors! We pay $50 per piece. After your piece is published, we’ll be in touch about payment.

Please feel free to email if you have any questions!