Join Our Contributors List ¶

Submissions are currently CLOSED as of 3/26/24!

We put out new issues quarterly.

We’re interested in short (~700 words) left-leaning political satire, non-political comedy that speaks to the current moment, and earnest non-comedic essays from a Leftist perspective.

We’re rarely interested in short fiction or poetry.

About 8 weeks before an issue comes out, we email our contributors list with a call for pitches. If we like a pitch, we’ll ask you to write the full piece.

We pay $50 per piece.

We reserve the right to edit your piece before publishing, but we won’t surprise you with any edits.

Any questions, email functionallydead at gmail dot com.