Functionally Dead

a leftist comedy and culture zine's submissions guidelines. let the freaks have it.

Please email pitches for written/art pieces to

Please include "Submission" in the subject line.

We look at pitches from contributors every other Wednesday.

We'll get back to you on a Thursday with what pitch we liked the most. After that, we'd like a first draft by EOD that Sunday.

This tighter turnaround helps keep each issue fresh and current.

Thanks to our Patreon, we can pay our contributors! After your piece is published, we'll be in touch about payment.

Please feel free to email if you have any questions!